#i thought I read a lot lol
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Some manga I read this year
Really fun reading in a shitty year of my life. Monster and kaze hikaru are rereads(read kaze hikaru atleast 4 times lol). Kaze hikaru single handedly convinced me to watch Japanese period drama movies and it was blast. Kaze hikaru is shinsengumi bakumatsu era story centred around a girl main character. A beautiful one with slice of life story spun around historical facts that makes reading very engaging.
Monster turned out to be so much fun I came back to being the monster addict I was in 2017. Altho my reading comprehension hasn't been any better since but wow what a thought provoking series. Although the grand scheme of things like Nina and Tenma cud have been more fleshed out towards the end? I just love the microcosm of the series is built around loving and sharing fun meals and like life is a concoction of meals we had together. It's definitely a series that is worth many reads and I wasn't wrong falling in love with it back then.
Pet shop of horrors is another gem.
A shady or not so shady pet shop selling people's dreams(?). I'm in love with count D btw.
Orcot × D felt like eroica's Dorian × Klaus with the will they won't they dynamics.
Maison ikoku is probably rumiko's tightest story with plot progression because it's important to progress the love story here. A young widow moving on in life and leading an independent life and finding love again. You get a good feel of 70s 80s Japan, the slice of life and takahashi's slap stick comedy all in one good package.
Star clock liddell.
I honestly don't knw what to Say abt this series lmao
If you are interested in Rich conversations of people talk abt metaphysics and dream psychology then this is your read. The way the story talks abt longing and broaches the dissociation of one's own psyche and somehow ties into a place of longing and belonging...idk what else to say this is so weird at the same time a good series with stellar art. This read felt like I'm drifting to dreams tht aren't morbidly scary but just unsettling and you long for a curiosity and unknown sense of belonging.
Gabai. Coming of age story set in post war Japan, abt a boy who came to saga to live with his grandmother cuz his mom in Hiroshima can't make ends meet to raise two kids.
Oftentimes phrase of money isn't everything is just hell no poverty sucks...but the story gives a balance to these two sides of it with money isn't everything when you live in a community that doesn't look down on the poor and want to exploit and hoard wealth but sharing during difficult times as neighbors, friends, teachers at school should see it as a part of their responsibility and consious to help one another. The series brought back lots of my own granny memories and the so called simple times when everyone mostly cared for one another. Raising kids is not an isolated work of parents..10/10 and honestly I feel like slice of life stories that don't have this depth and angle are just pointless at times. Giving nuance with time place and lifestyle makes so much difference.
Bokura no kiseki.
Well it's probably the best reincarnations au you will ever read. A series that makes you care abt so many characters and unearthing the past memories of a tragedy and to try co existing in the present world. It's really philosophical at places, about power money and equality. You don't knw what you are in for till you keep reading it and a lot of people keep masking and faking identity so the reincarnation mystery is very fun into this weird cat and mouse games.
Nonnonba.
I wanted to read Shigeru mizuki manga and so I thought why not a shorter one. His depiction of yokai as human emotions manifestations, and tapping into fear, insecurity, traditional folklore, and myths and misconceptions but not dismissive of a culture is very important in his stories. His pencil art detailing is what I feel like digital art might not be able to give...if that makes sense.
Dear Gene.
Yaoi manga with beautiful art. Historical and slice of life and coming of age. I like how it uses queerness as growing up experiences too, the world outside is bigger and more accepting while connecting your roots. A great read.
Sakura namiki.
The S class Yuri classic. The beautiful panelling, with back and forth tennis match between two girls and their bond and emotions flowing so seamlessly between their exchange.
How do we do relationship.
Probably the best manga of romance drama that's not just creating drama but meaningful discussion on navigating as a couple, friends and sexual relationships especially as lesbians in a hetero spaces.
#my reads 2024#i thought I read a lot lol#you can see my half ass attempts at writing this#i don't really care#not reviews#kaze hikaru#monster#dear gene#sakura namiki
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He's a bit too excited to see you clock in
#my art#moondrop#fnaf moondrop#fnaf moon#moondrop fnaf#moon fnaf#just for reference - I'm not back</3 just posting whatever piled up#i won't be active socially/with reblogs. sorry!#I'd love to but I'm running really low on energy and responding to anything drains me as i put too much thought in it and get anxious :(#but i see and read everything!! and your engagement does really encourage me a lot. thank you!#also#i wonder if anyone recognises the pose lol
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Silly 15!skk comic that I sketched awhile ago and dont remember what compelled me to draw this
#bsd#skk#soukoku#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd art#bsd chuuya#15!skk#bsd crack#skk comic#this is so stupid I don’t remember why I drew this#maybe it should’ve stayed in my sketchbook lol wth#my art#help this is why I should’ve went to bed instead of clean this mess up#what am I even doing#I don’t know if this is incomprehensible but if anyone does read this by some chance I drew it right to left#sorry I dont know how to panel/too lazy#this is the less amount of color I’ve did in awhile just flats#this is a lot of stuff in the tags#i think i remember i was taking my vitamins or something and thought of this…i think#i dont know how to draw mori sorry i dont know I got too lazy too#I cleaned the lines but not too much because I am lazy
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digitizing some sketches i made for my etsy and a completely unrelated song, because i like to add songs :)
#jason todd#tim drake#dc#my art#red hood#red robin#im gonna color this. and do a bunch more. but i havent posted any art in foreverrrr so here is a sketch lol#trying to stick to adding a song to every post. idk if anyone listens to them but im doing it#listening to a lot of queer girl punk. i have Thoughts for Steph. this will come later tho#yes jason is reading gtn btw. because its a fantastic book and i feel he would very much enjoy it#this is ur sign to read it if you like tortured evil lesbians and horror and mystery and sooo much pain and yearning and a truly insane plo
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✨ Kross AU where soulmates share pain from injuries ✨
I’ve been thinking about some kind of a soulmate AU for these too (just for fun, nothing too complicated) and this concept was quite interesting so here it is. I also wanted to make it angsty but instead, it turned silly- I think it’s even better this way. This idea was sudden so there may be plot holes and inaccuracies.
So, Killer and Cross are soulmates and they’re linked by the pain they share (the one that comes from injuries, being hit etc. If any of them gets physically hurt, both of them feel it). Killer has a pretty high pain tolerance due to his experiences, trauma and general numbness, so he barely feels any pain and can easily ignore or not notice injuries on himself.
Cross on the other hand can feel everything clearly but he’d just learned to pretend like everything’s fine. He’s a soldier after all, he has to be strong for his people, friends and his soulmate that he’s bound to meet. He can’t show weakness no matter how unbearable sometimes the pain is. Though he can’t help but be concerned over how intense the pain is sometimes so he tries to avoid anything that might bring even more pain to his poor soulmate who suffers so frequently.
So, in conclusion, we have two idiots who hide their pain and can’t realize that they are soulmates because of that 🎉🎉 Mutual pining and idiots in love 🎉🎉
Killer belongs to rahafwabas Cross belongs to jakei
#undertale au#ut au#utmv#killer sans#cross sans#dust sans#kross ship#criller#I'm so happy I finally have an interesting concept about these two idk where my creativity vanished I used to have a lot of ideas#Idk if anyone thought of this kind of thing with them before I just wanted a soulmate AU with pining and miscommuntication ok-#I hope you enjoyed reading all of this if you did lol#Kross pain sharing AU
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And I will stay alive for my future self, so they can one day learn to be kind to who I was as a child. And I will teach them to honor who we used to be, so they can remember the comfort of what once was our untempered flesh and gentle soul. Me and myself are each a fresh wound and a rough scab, bearing respectively the gift of green faith and honed will.
This has been in my draft for a while because I was determined to post this only after I knew what I should write underneath it. I’ve read a lot on the concept of healing the wounded inner child since even before my c-ptsd diagnosis. However, I’ve sought as much comfort in my little self as they had in me. Looking back, I was an impressively emotionally-intuitive kid. I remember well how I used to think, the things I would write to my future self; they were wiser and gentler than I could ever hope to be as an adult. Needless to say, the little poem above is inspired by the aforementioned experience. Sure, big me is armed with a more developed pre-frontal cortex and access to invaluable resources (coping mechanisms, therapy, on and offline communities) , but I struggle to rediscover/reinvent my identity. Little me was the biggest vestige of my lost personhood. So yeah, this might be just a huge self-indulgent projection with my favorite character, but thinking that post-S3 Hunter would also be in my shoes is not completely baseless. 16yrs old Hunter is the fresh wound (a lot of things happened before his teen years, but I’m going to interpret the events of Hollow Mind - which happened when Hunter was 16 - as the ultimate boiling point in his trauma timeline, hence the ‘fresh wound') and 20yrs old Hunter is the rough scab. Each version of Hunter could be dealing with a different set of trauma-induced symptoms. I think his loyalty to Belos kept him going as a child. Being doubtless was important to Hunter back then; it held his sense of self together. And maybe when he survived and was rewarded the time and space to grow into his own person and live for himself, there was this lasting emptiness. I feel this sort of emptiness even today. My only reference of what ‘wholeness’ felt like was when I was obedient to my family. I equated self-abandonment as the righteous norm. The symptoms I deal with today are definitely different from when I was Hunter’s age pre-time-skip. Now that Hunter is in a safe space and an adult post-time skip, he might also need to seek that strength from his younger self. Reminding himself of how far he’s come and the parts of him that he'd like to keep from his past. The parts that he knows in his bones are purely his - not instilled by Belos, not inherited from Caleb.
#the two pic look so different lol they were completed with a month in between them#if you actually read the whole thing#thank you means a lot#i hope it made some sense- i rarely put into words these sort of thoughts so im kinda all over the place#hunter toh#hunter noceda#the owl house#the owl house season 3#toh season 3#toh#toh hunter#toh s3#toh s3e1#toh s3e2#for the future#thanks to them#toh spoilers#cw: abuse#cw: trauma#hunter deamonne#toh s3ep3#watching and dreaming#the owl house spoilers#owl house#thank you dana#toh literally saved and changed my life
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My brainrot today is thinking about just how incredible for a character Eowyn is.
Genuinely. The series might not have many female characters but the ones we do get go so fucking hard.
To me, Eowyn is literally the definition of defining being a woman for oneself. She rejects the roles she is given despite acknlowdging the importance and its mostly because she knows part of the reason is that she is a woman.
The reason why she is obsessed with Aragorn isn't because she loves him but because she wants what he has. She wants the freedom and courage and bravery that Aragorn has at every turn. She literally has multiple conversations during the Two Towers about how what she fears most is a cage. All this girl wants is the freedom to be and not be forced into a role. The best thing is that she literally gets that.
The segment of Return of the King about Eowyn and Faramir is literally about her piecing together what she truly wants. She doesn't want Aragorn. She wants freedom and the ability to choose. Faramir does nothing but encourage that in her. Their love story is literally one of the healthiest love stories I've seen in a long time because at the heart of it, their love is a place to return home to for both parties. Both go off to lead and help their people for a considerable amount of time before returning to each other but that does not diminish their bond. Even Faramir, I believe, falls in love with her bravery and dedication to her loved ones. The reason she went to Pelenor Fields and Gondor with the troops of Rohan was because she had things she wanted to fight for. She wanted to fight for herself, her people, and her loved ones. She is the one who protects Theoden after he is killed so that his body gets the treatment it deserves. She encourages Merry and helps him go to the battle because she sees her struggle in Merry. They feel helpless standing around when there are things to be doing.
Let's also not forget the fact that she was around Grima Wormtounge just as much as the King was. She was exposed to the same poison and awful words that eroded the king. It's even implied that her care for him is part of the reason why Theoden was savable when Gandalf showed up. She had the same power and bravery as everyone else even if she didn't see it in herself.
Then at the end of the day, SHE decides where she wants to go and what path she wants to walk. She walked the path of a warrior. The path of a princess/ruler. The path of a caretaker. But in the end she decides which elements truly mean something to her outside of gender definitions. That is what makes her character so incredible to me. In this she literally kills one of the biggest enemies in that battle with such a badass line.
#i could talk for ages about how i see the struggle of defining being a woman for oneself in her#she rejects the feminine roles given to her but she also doesnt quite want the masculine ones#she just wants the freedom to choose and have the same respect that men are given#she doesnt want to be belitted because she is a woman#thats literally what Faramir gives her and why she stays with him#Faramir loves her for her not anything else#he respects her as she does him#i am someone who is a woman but rejects the definitons of being a woman because they are toxic and caging#all i want is the freedom and respect of being a HUMAN being#i lend more masculine because that is where that freedom is more often but i also see how toxic that relam is too#niether side is good which is why i choose my own path and defintiom#the fact that eowyn gets such a similar story in a series written by a man in the mid 1900s is incredible#i am someone who would love to have more female characters but i do not want them at the expense of them being proper characters and humans#ive read a lot of fantasy women do not always get the agency they deserve#i would rather take fewer well written women then a bunch of poorly written female characters#lotr has that#eowyn arwen and galadriel are all given agency and the space to be their own individuals which makes them incredible characters#thats what i want out of books and ficition#god im making myself insane about my own thoughts lol#i could talk for ages im not kidding#eowyn#eowyn of rohan#lotr#lotr rambling#lord of the rings#the two towers#the return of the king
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Written followup to the horrors comic! It got away from me lol. Most of it's under the cut, cause this part is also a bit long.
~*~
Minutes passed by on the quiet moonlit dock.
Despite the renewed serenity of the night, Chuuya’s heart continued to race sickeningly fast. It hammered away in his chest, as if unable to fully grasp that the danger had passed.
His clothes were heavy and waterlogged, so cold against his skin that he could barely keep from shivering. Icy trickles ran down the back of his neck and dripped from his hair.
Closing his eyes didn’t help. There were far too many twisted corpses engraved in the darkness whenever he blinked. So he kept his eyes open, staring at the planks beneath them as he tried to steady his breathing.
Don’t think about it, Chuuya told himself. Don’t think about them.
Instead, he forced himself to remain in the present moment. Beneath the planks, he could hear the swell of the ocean waters, each wave lapping at the posts in a quiet rhythm. Salt filled his lungs with every breath, the heavy tang of the sea-soaked wood wafting around him.
And against his chest was Dazai’s head, a steady and grounding pressure. His ear rested over Chuuya’s heart, his arms still tight around him.
In that position, Dazai must have been able to hear how hard Chuuya’s heart was pounding—but surprisingly, he didn’t remark upon it. He remained utterly silent.
In return, Chuuya didn’t say a word about the almost crushing strength of Dazai’s arms where they wrapped around his middle. Dazai’s fingers were digging into his ribs, twin rows of sharp pressure, and Chuuya could feel them shaking.
Dazai’s hair was coarse where Chuuya’s cheek rested against it. Back in the day, before Dazai’s defection, he never bothered with conditioner. It seemed some things never changed, even in the light.
For one wild moment, Chuuya wished that he wasn’t wearing a pair of gloves—then he could bury his bare fingers in Dazai’s hair and see if it was as tangled as it looked. And, perhaps, warm himself up. Dazai was like a radiator against him, heat seeping through Chuuya’s drenched layers of clothes at every point of contact, but his gloves remained cold, the sodden leather chilling him to the bone. His joints ached as he uncurled his fingers from around Dazai’s shoulders.
Perhaps it would be worth it to just…indulge for a moment, if only to have something else to needle Dazai about. Really, the man needed to learn how to groom himself properly one of these days.
As Chuuya’s hand hovered indecisively over Dazai’s head, however, he realized that his heart rate had already evened out. While he was reminiscing about Dazai’s damn mess of hair, of all things.
Ridiculous. But that meant that there was absolutely no excuse for the two of them to remain wrapped around each other any longer. Dazai’s shivering seemed to have calmed as well.
“We should—” Chuuya’s voice cracked when he tried to speak, so he paused and cleared his throat before going on. “We should make sure it’s really gone. I don’t want that thing getting the jump on me again.”
Dazai tensed, and his grip tightened so much that for a moment Chuuya could scarcely breathe.
“Oi. C’mon, you need to let me up,” Chuuya wheezed, swatting at Dazai’s shoulder. He strained his neck to look down at the head buried against his chest, a pang of something that was surely exasperation tightening his throat. “I need to be able to reach it, Dazai.”
Dazai remained still for another long moment, then abruptly loosened his grip. Instead of letting Chuuya up, however, he pushed him down to sit on the damp planks, and rose to his feet himself.
“I’ll go,” Dazai said quietly, and strode past Chuuya towards the small, oval mirror where it lay shattered on the dock.
Right. It did make sense to have Dazai touch it first, in case it was an ability that could be nullified.
…But what if it’s not? What if it’s something like Lovecraft? Dazai will be defenseless, Chuuya thought, and instinctively started to his feet as well.
“Stay back,” Dazai said sharply, without even turning to look. He was standing over the mirror, staring down at it. “Don’t move forward until I say so.”
Chuuya scowled, but remained in place. He watched as Dazai bent down and extended a careful hand towards the shards of glass.
One tap, with the tip of a finger. Then another, less cautious tap against the side of the wooden frame. Then another, and another, Dazai’s touches moving systematically across every inch of shattered glass and broken wood.
Nothing happened.
Dazai breathed out, and stepped back. “There. You are now welcome to crush it into dust,” he said lightly, waving Chuuya forward.
His head was still downturned, his eyes cast in the shadow of his bangs as Chuuya walked past him to do the deed.
It was with deep pleasure that Chuuya pressed each little bit of the mirror into nothingness, grinding it down with the overwhelming weight of gravity.
After it was done, Chuuya scattered the dust into the ocean waters below. “What the fuck was that thing, anyway?” he asked, turning back to face the other.
When he turned, however, he found Dazai had moved to sit on the edge of the dock, his legs dangling off the edge.
His back was facing Chuuya. It seemed deliberate.
At first, Dazai didn’t respond to Chuuya’s question. The silence stretched long enough that Chuuya began to shiver again, the cold wind cutting through his damp clothes.
“…A Face Like Glass,” Dazai said at last. “That’s what the ability was called.”
“So it was a gifted,” Chuuya muttered. He walked to Dazai’s side, and dropped down beside him with a heavy sigh. “That mean the user is still out there somewhere?”
“No,” Dazai said softly. “She died some time ago, I’m afraid.”
Chuuya looked at him sharply. “What?”
There wasn’t much light by which to see, but Chuuya knew Dazai’s face like the back of his own hand. Better, probably. And he could tell that the detective’s features had gone unnaturally still.
It was how Dazai looked whenever he was unsure of how much he should give away. Typically his poker faces were more natural, but when he was strongly conflicted, he would simply go blank.
“Explain,” Chuuya said, crossing his arms. “That thing almost killed me, I think I ought to know what it was.”
That got a reaction. Dazai’s lips twitched downward and he looked away, hiding his face from Chuuya once again.
After another lingering pause, however, he finally began to talk.
“A Face Like Glass was the ability of a woman named Hardinge,” Dazai said, as blandly as if he were reciting a history lesson. “She could reflect the darkest thoughts of anyone who looked into that mirror of hers, and give those thoughts physical form. Quite literally a nightmare to deal with, as one can imagine. She was the terror of England. However, after she rose to prominence, the mirror began to behave a bit oddly.
“The more renowned Hardinge became, the more people began to fear her ability. She kept the exact details of the mirror shrouded in mystery, so her enemies were always speculating what horrors it might do to them next.
“Naturally, over time, their darkest thoughts became consumed with fear of the mirror itself. And when Hardinge reflected those thoughts, manifesting them into reality…well. You can imagine what happened.”
Chuuya’s hands formed fists in his lap, so tight the leather of his gloves creaked. His fingers were somehow even colder than before. “A runaway effect,” he said. Despite his best efforts, his voice came out rough. “A singularity.”
“Quite,” Dazai said. “The heights of human imagination should never be underestimated. The more powerful anyone imagined the mirror was, the more powerful it became. When their fears manifested, their imaginations ran ever more wild with terrifying possibilities. Which it would also reflect. And so on, and so on. The only one who could control it was Hardinge herself, stopping the runaway cycle by covering the mirror. She acted as a control for the ability for many years, preventing it from going too far.
“But one day, one of her enemies had the dubiously clever idea to turn the mirror back on Hardinge herself. Which, ordinarily, would have been a mere scare tactic. I’m sure their only intent was to make her hesitate to use the mirror by making her own fears manifest.
“However, that is not what happened. Keep in mind, Hardinge had been watching this ability of hers grow with each battle she fought, gaining strength after strength, only barely containing it with her efforts. Sometimes it must have seemed so powerful that it nearly eclipsed her own self.
“Anyone would be frightened of that. It can’t be surprising that her darkest thoughts contained the fear that her mirror would one day consume her.”
Silence stretched, frigid and fragile as ice.
“…So her own ability ate her,” Chuuya said flatly.
“Yes,” Dazai said. “And without anyone left to contain it, the mirror was unleashed.”
Chuuya rubbed wearily at his temples. “Okay. Then how did it get here? To Yokohama?”
“From what I hear, Hardinge was not popular with the Order of the Clock Tower,” Dazai said. “She had gone into hiding here when her ability overtook her. The Special Operations Division then sent out operatives to contain it.”
Chuuya raised his head. “Oh. They’re involved? Wait, does that mean…was that ex-drinking buddy of yours the one who told you all this?”
Dazai nodded, and Chuuya could faintly make out a crooked smile on his lips in the darkness. “Ango called to warn me of its escape. They had done everything they could to keep it locked away so it could be studied, but all it took was one researcher fearing that the creature had the ability to get out of its cell, and it immediately had that power,” he said, leaning back on his bandaged palms. He gave Chuuya a sidelong look, heavy with significance. “Then, of course, while Ango was briefing me on A Face Like Glass, I also got word that a certain tiny mafioso had gone out to fight an unknown monster that was terrorizing the shipyards.”
Chuuya met his stare with a raised eyebrow. “Yeah, so?” he said. “It was scaring my subordinates. Someone had to do something.”
Dazai’s gaze darkened further. “Chuuya, you went alone,” he said. “You tried to face it all by yourself, without even knowing what it was. You could have —” He broke off, and looked away once more. His nails were digging into the wood of the dock, his shoulders stiff.
Hiding again, Chuuya thought.
For a moment, Chuuya considered pointing out that there wasn’t anyone for him to call for help. Very few of the other mafia members could stand up to an otherworldly threat—and even those who could, like Akutagawa, were not anyone who Chuuya would want exposed to a fear-monster. Everyone in the mafia had far too much darkness to reflect.
Besides, Dazai had no room to scold Chuuya when he was the one who had left him without a partner in the first place.
But even as Chuuya contemplated speaking those cutting words aloud, he found himself unable to.
Because even though Chuuya hadn’t called, Dazai had come anyway.
And, if the reflections of that ability could be believed, one of Dazai’s darkest thoughts was losing Chuuya to Corruption. Right alongside Dazai’s fear of his own past self, and his fear of disappointing his old friend. That…changed some things.
Chuuya sighed, releasing a long-held weight. Then he prodded Dazai’s shoulder with a cold, gloved fingertip. “Hey,” he said. “Look at me.”
Dazai’s shoulders hitched higher, but he didn’t turn.
“What’s your deal?” Chuuya demanded, poking him again. “You don’t have to hide from me, idiot. What, you think I’m gonna make fun of you for having emotions?”
That, apparently, surprised Dazai enough to glance back at Chuuya, his brow furrowed.
“Because I won’t,” Chuuya said. “Not about this. I mean…look, before you showed up, that mirror motherfucker had already reflected a lot of people at me. The Flags, the Sheep, Murase, even N. That’s how it got close enough to me to grab me and drag me under in the first place. So if you’re embarrassed of breaking down or some shit, you shouldn’t be. I did too.”
“It’s not that,” Dazai muttered, his eyes darting away across the dark ocean waters once again.
“Then what?” Chuuya prompted impatiently, leaning closer.
“I froze,” Dazai said, his lips twisting in disgust. “Under the slightest amount of pressure, I broke. You could have died, just because I couldn’t bring myself to fire at a poor imitation of my friend.”
Chuuya blinked. “What’s wrong with that? I broke too. And you were there to pull me out of the water. I saved you, and you saved me. That’s what partners are for, right?”
That finally got Dazai to face him, whipping around so quickly it must have hurt his neck. His eyes were wide, his lips parted in surprise.
Chuuya knew why. It had been years since he had called Dazai his partner.
All too aware that his cheeks were beginning to heat, Chuuya reached out to pull the infuriating man into his arms, tucking Dazai’s head against his shoulder. “Not a word,” he growled, squeezing Dazai tightly in warning. “Make fun of me for this and I’m kicking you into the ocean.”
Dazai let out a choked noise, and suddenly he was clinging to Chuuya just as tight, his fingers practically clawing into his back.
He was shaking again. Or maybe they both were.
“It—it had been so long since I heard his voice,” Dazai cried against Chuuya’s neck, muffled and damp on his skin. “I don’t want that to be how I remember him, I don’t, I hate it…”
Chuuya closed his eyes and saw Albatross laying on the ground in pieces, staring up at him in betrayal. He let out a slow, careful breath, and held Dazai closer.
“Yeah,” he murmured. “I know. I get it.”
Dazai was still so warm. And Chuuya’s hands were still so terribly cold.
Making a reckless decision, Chuuya pulled off his soaked gloves and tossed them aside, then sunk his fingers into Dazai’s mess of curls without hesitation. He felt more than heard the sharp inhale against his neck, and the quiet questioning hum that followed. Chuuya ignored it and continued to card his fingers through Dazai’s hair.
“…Chuuya?” Dazai breathed.
Chuuya tugged absently at a knot. “Tangled,” he grunted. “It was bothering me.”
“Mm,” Dazai hummed, and his hands slid up the back of Chuuya’s jacket. “Chuuya’s cold.”
“No shit,” Chuuya said grumpily. “I fell in the fucking ocean, and it’s freezing out here.”
There was a soft laugh, then a strange sensation ghosted across the side of Chuuya’s neck just above his choker, almost like a pair of lips had pressed there. Chuuya’s hands tightened in Dazai’s hair, stiffening in surprise. He could only wonder if he had imagined it, unable to comprehend any other possibility.
He certainly didn’t imagine what Dazai said next, however.
“Come home with me,” Dazai whispered, his lips brushing against Chuuya’s skin once again.
Chuuya made a very strange noise, somewhere between a shriek and a gasp, and used his grip on Dazai’s hair to haul him away just enough for their eyes to meet. “The fuck?” he spluttered, face burning. “What do you mean, where did that — hah?”
Dazai’s eyes were rimmed in red, dulled with weariness. One of his hands wandered up to Chuuya’s cheek and rested there, circling the blush with his thumb. “I don’t want you out of my sight right now,” he said quietly. “That’s all.”
Ah. Right. The reflection of Corruption.
Well. Chuuya couldn’t really deny that he wasn’t looking forward to a night spent alone in his own apartment. He might not dream, but that didn’t matter if he couldn’t even get to sleep. Having someone beside him might help.
And beyond all that—this was the first time that Dazai had ever asked Chuuya to stay with him.
So, dazed and still a little flushed, Chuuya abandoned all common sense and replied, “Okay.”
Dazai captured one of Chuuya’s hands between his own, and brought it to his lips to brush a kiss across his knuckles. “Good,” he murmured, and pulled Chuuya to his feet. A slight smile flitted across his features. “I think I spotted Chuuya’s dreadful hat further towards the shore. Shall we find it first?”
Chuuya’s knuckles were still tingling. “Okay,” he repeated, strangled and utterly bewildered. His thoughts were chasing themselves in circles like a pack of confused terriers, but he allowed Dazai to tow him away towards the lights of the city.
And if Chuuya’s fingers ended up intertwined with Dazai’s as they traversed the shadows…well.
The streets were too dark for anyone to prove it.
“…Wait, is there even room at your place? You’re still living in that shitty dorm, aren’t you?”
A familiar grin and a pair of twinkling eyes turned back to him as they passed through a dimly lit alley. “Hmm? Chuuya has been tracking where I live? How sentimental of you, slug.”
At least he’s getting back to normal, Chuuya thought. “Oh, shut up,” he grumbled aloud. “Of course I’d keep an eye on your annoying ass.”
A scandalized, yet delighted gasp. “Chuuya likes looking at my ass?”
“…?! Shut up! That is not what I said—!”
#...possibly I should also put this on ao3 for ease of reading#do I know what I'm doing? nope#no thoughts only vibing#but anyway I hope this was an enjoyable explanation of the Creature in the horrors comic!#'A Face Like Glass' is a book I absolutely adore by Frances Hardinge :D It's got a lot of mind-bending concepts in it!#so it seemed like a fun thing to turn into a bsd oc monster#can you believe this started as an attempt to give Chuuya hugs lol#technically succeeded! but at what cost#the horrors comic#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#soukoku#skk#senhart's writing
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blurrrrrrrrrr
#transformers#idw transformers#maccadam#blurr#my art#rambling a bit here i have thoughts about blurrr#mm in retrospect maybe i should’ve tried to draw him more aerodynamic since it fits his whole speedster racer thing a lot more#that being said i got really attached to his bulkier look from a lot of his earlier(???) appearances in idw#IT HAS LIKE the stockier jock hunk vibes that i dig a lot#anyways i haven’t read RiD (politics heavy plot not rly my cup of tea lol) but i hear he’s a bartender there which sounds awesome
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Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between
#to be or not to be. that is the question#ty adam for being my model for dramatic vampire moment#musings on the thinkings about:#when to live you are required to hurt others. you must repeatedly ask yourself what the value of your life is#To sleep... perchance to dream...#ah. THERES THE RUB.#ok I actually couldnt come up with too many thoughts. I had a lot more while I was drawing this but I guess I put them in the painting LOL#reading that soliloquy and being like damn this is just like vampires#the reality of course is that the soliloquy is a debate over suicide and ultimately making the choice to live#even if just out of fear of the unknown#and vampires are about dying and then in undeath choosing to continue to live#despite the fear of eternity and loneliness and hurting others#theyre not the same. but like let me thiiink come onnnn I'm allowed to thiiink and have incomplete thoughts#I would have to write like a proper essay about this to organize my thoughts. this is the tags on a tumblr post.#anyways finished episode 79#working on patreon stickers for this month (and next month soon)#and working on book 4. taking a pause from episodes cause I've got 3 weeks of buffer now... UGH#I'm so mad that they changed it. it would have been 5 weeks before but it's fine it's whatever#anyways yeah taking a break from episodes to make my book now!#its good stuff.#and this painting is good stuff#banger after banger from me tbh#this was a little relaxing giving myself a couple hours to muse#it's necessary for my health and I always forget that til I do a painting...#I loved doing the little landscape in the background too I should do that more! I love how plants are just like whatever shape you want#like you can make up any plant you want and not only does that plant PROBABLY exist somewhere#a weirder plant exists somewhere too. so. literally whatever you want#ok bye again for a few days while I get back to work
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I just had a passing thought about my own stuff from an outsider POV. I wondered if anyone who’s not a huge fan of dick questions why Dick Grayson in most of the stuff I post…
Why all of a sudden Dick Grayson is the bus driver- because I hired him!!! I want to see him! I’m gonna put him in everything!
#you know that one image of shadow saying don’t trust your brain after 9 pm? I get a lot of weird thoughts it’s like im under attack through#self created scenarios but this one got dismissed real quick by how raw and selfish my desire to put my fav in everything#anyways idk why I’m posting this. dick and Damian. dick and cass. dick and Tim. doesn’t the timeline make a lot of sense#oh yeah. I’m going to read Robin jason comics soon so maybe there will be more jason stuff coming. so far everything I’ve been reading with#jason in it are nightwing comics (shrugs)#so he’s basically already grown… and edgy. lol#except for a few comics where he’s baby#I also need to read Steph’s more stuff. being an adult is not great man. you don’t have time to do anything. a bit overrated#except having money part. I like having money
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I love amphibia I'm really happy it exists
#this is so random LOL but ive been like going thru lots of phases where im just trying to feed into a latest interest#and when doing so i tend to look back on the stuff ive liked in the last and like.. as im scrolling thru an anne and sprig tag on tumblr#i suddenly had a realization that i havent been feeling sad about the fact that the shows been over for a while now??#idk its crazy to me instead im just having warm fuzzy feelings inside and im just#gah i do miss these goofs but i really appreciate the laughs and the love you showed me. hope u dumbasses are doing ok#also more random thoughts: the 'did hop pop just leave us' joke has been randomly playing in my head for no reason other than me remembering#season 1 and also been randomly reading gf fics and read a crossover one w amphibby and i fucking lost my shit when it reminded me abt how#they fucking played kpop in all in like thags so fucking funny to me all the time for no reason its peak silly
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I haven't seen any posts about this yet but l've seen some fan art that makes me feel this needs to be said:
Don't forget Leah Sava Jeffries has darker skin when making Annabeth Chase fan art!
She is much closer to Lupita Nyong'o than Zoe Kravitz when it comes to shading, reflection, and complementary color usage :).
Lighting for dark skin is different on light skin. Light skin gets changed by lighting, and dark skin reflects the lighting. Below is a lovely shot of Nyong'o's character from Wakanda Forever in mourning. The filmmakers emphasize the umber qualities of her skin in contrast to the funereal white and (arguably harsh) light across her shoulder below.
Try to pick spots that aren't directly in or near the light, and try mixing 3 or more! You can put it into a color mixer online, or even color pick, lower the opacity, and lay the shades over each other until you find one that fits. And of course, the more 'realistic' you want to go with shading and lighting, the more shades you're going to want to be able to explore vivaciously :D.
Let's take a look at the same 3 beautiful actresses I mentioned at the beginning, with a bad color picked area and a better-ish color picked area. (Please keep in mind, these are not perfect comparisons, as I was not able to find pictures of all 3 actresses under the same kind of lighting.)
Kravitz's has a clear difference between the two, but they aren't too far apart, in comparison to Nyong’o’s and Jeffries’s. Note the dullness in the poorly picked shades as opposed to the better ones. Also keep in mind that while Kravitz has a rosy undertone (at least in that picture - it’s from The Batman, which has stylized coloring) Nyong’o has a slight cool undertone (I can’t pin down quite what, but the picture is definitely not stylized like Kravitz’s).
Jeffries runs more ochre or russet, but neither of those are pink. They are more red than terracotta or umber, but to call Jeffries’s face rosy would be wrong. Err more towards the golden when drawing her.
^^saved an image from a writing tutorial long ago, but can’t seem to find it. If someone recognizes it, I’ll link it. EDIT: it’s from this post. Thanks @autumnrowancollector ! <3
And also, the darker skin gets, the less likely warm undertones are going to appear. Don't be afraid to use blue or purple or even green on occasion!
Additionally, cool lighting on dark skin is always a win imo.
(I was going to use that picture of Jeffries as Annabeth by the lightning bolt, but then I realized the lighting on her face doesn’t quite match up with where it should hit from that angle, and I realized they kind of just turned everything bluer, so screenshot time!)
(Also if you want another really great live action example, check out anything Aldis Hodge is in, like Leverage and Black Adam)(and of course there’s Spiderverse <3 but I want to post pictures of Hodge)
Now, to here’s a list of more experienced people’s advice:
Black facial features & hair
Shading digitally for a (somewhat) monotone Black character
Stylistic choices and places to start looking for inspiration (besides a search engine).
Coloring Black people’s lips
A better coloration tutorial
Also a nice tutorial for Indigenous skin tones, just in case yall want to draw Piper or use this information for other dark skinned characters :).
EDIT: Some actresses who are closer in skintone to use for Annabeth, provided by the lovely @blackfemmecharacterdependency ! If you can’t find a reference for Jeffries in a specific lighting, maybe check out these ladies’ pictures! It’s a reblog, so scroll down.
TLDR: Don’t make Annabeth pink and pale, make her dark and golden.
#Annabeth chase#Percy Jackson#percabeth#leah sava jeffries#pjo#leah jeffries#art tutorial#percy jackon and the olympians#I love superheroes and so of course all of the actors I thought of were from superhero movies lmao#also for the record my advice is mostly from reading others’ tutorials and observation#and I don’t really use it a lot because I stick to lineart a lot lol#like down to mentioning Hodge (love himmmm) as a reference for good lighting on dark skin#there’s another post floating around here that specifically mentions him and Leverage for that#I’m tagging this as an art tutorial but really i want it to be more of a master post#master post so yall can see the tutorials I usually use#but then I ended up writing about Jeffries specifically because I’m dumb#I wanted to go to sleep four hours ago I’m dumb#I really want to draw her and ginger Percy but#irl it’s starting to get busy at school again :/
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Book Dally!!! (I took “white blond hair” and RAN with it)
#this is kinda what I was expecting when I first heard his description#I mean now I picture Matt Dillion but this was what I thought the first time I read the book lol#just the PALE ass mother fucker#and also lowkey uglier based on what Pony was saying about him#but I couldn’t do my boy dirty like that so I still tried to use movie him as a base#granted I did change a lot#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#dallas winston#art#the outsiders fanart
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I love Lucy Maclean, she’s such a sweetheart
#fallout#lucy maclean#I’m just so glad they made a naive protagonist but made her actually likable and competent#like you can tell from my blog that I typically enjoy and relate to male characters more but#I WOULD DIE FOR LUCY#I dunno if I’ll draw more of the fallout show but I’m really considering cause I love all three of the main characters#it took some getting used to Maximus cause I was like BRO JUST STOP ACTING SUS AND MAYBE PEOPLE WILL LISTEN TO YOH MOREEE#But he definitely grew on me#he is also a precious bean that needs to be protected#and possibly taught social cues cause damn did he screw himself over a lot bc of that 😂 😭#OH MAN AND NORM#I LOVE HIM#I know he’s not really a main character but I’m DYING for more of him#I totally thought I was gonna hate norm and Lucy since both are kinda tropey characters but they’re so damn well written#oh yeah and the ghoul is neat 🙂#( just saying this cause I know my sister will read these tags and attack me if I don’t say something positive about the ghoul LOL)#doodle#my art
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...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?
(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:
They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck
that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.
the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)
#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#re: the amygdala thing -- that's what I thought when I first read it but I was listening to a podcast that didn't mention anything about it#and now I'm gently double-guessing myself harrow style haha#I think the greek word also means tonsil (thus the tonsil stones in bloodborne)?#the amygdala does a lot of shit around emotions and emotional processing which like. ok interesting ianthe wtf!#god. what a weird day it's been. you think you're at rock bottom and then you're having wild unhinged thoughts about ianthe tridentarius#my brain feels like it's filled with stinging nettles idk if this is even coherent. but I need it out of my neurons lol#the locked tomb meta#I could not recommend 'prism' enough btw it's a beautiful poem and has a lot of the same themes as tlt!
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